


Just Give Me One Bad Night

by queenhawke



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:32:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenhawke/pseuds/queenhawke
Summary: Look, it wasn't like she didn't want to bang River Song – she did, she really absolutely did. She'd wanted to ever since she saw her sitting at the bar wearing that damn low-cut dress, though she'd tried very hard to deny it to herself. She was really, stupidly, unreasonably attracted to the woman, and who could blame her, really? Who could really blame her for wanting to have some fun sexy times with the most outrageously gorgeous woman with magic space hair and a smirk that had probably toppled empires, especially when said woman was actively expressing interest in fun sexy times?But River was the Doctor's wife.And she was the Doctor's best friend.And you weren't supposed to have sex with your best friend's wife, no matter how unreasonably hot she was.Boy, she was in trouble.





	1. you make me feel like I wanna be bad

**Author's Note:**

> If you were hoping for a new chapter of One Weird Trick - uh well, you get this instead. BUT I WILL DEFINITELY FINISH THIS ONE I SWEAR.
> 
> Fic and chapter title from Hayley Kiyoko's One Bad Night.

Clara wasn't really the type to go to clubbing, truth be told, but she figured going to a seedy outerspace club was just one of those things you had to try when you were a time traveller. They were a staple of science fiction, after all: grimy yet colourful, with a wide variety of alien species, and an unnerving amount of drinks that could kill a human with one drop, served by a barman who clearly had a grudge against all bipedal creatures. Her drink should be safe, though. The Doctor had given her the sonic sunglasses (and it was at moments like this that she missed the screwdriver, because she felt rather ridiculous putting on sunglasses indoors), given that she was going out alone and he thought she'd need something to keep herself at least reasonably safe. Clearly he was still taking that 'duty of care' thing seriously. Even so, going to a club was a step too far even for him. He'd dropped her off, like a disapproving father dropping off his teenage daughter at a party, muttering about how there was far too much sweating and grinding going on in these places, and how the music was atrocious, and wouldn't she rather go somewhere nice like the French Revolution? She'd just rolled her eyes and told him to pick her up when she called.

There _was_ rather a lot of sweating and grinding going on, though. She took an experimental sip of her drink (it tasted mostly of chemicals, but she didn't die at least), and contemplated whether she should go back on the dancefloor, or strike up a conversation with someone at the bar. She hadn't told the Doctor this, because he'd probably be disgusted by it, but she was determined to at least snog a hot alien and/or human tonight. Again, not that she was the type to do this, but that was the sort of thing you did in seedy outerspace clubs, and she wanted to get the full experience. She'd probably need to be a bit more drunk for it, though. She turned around to face the bar, ready to order another (hopefully more pleasant-tasting) drink, but before she could even open her mouth, the barman slid her a glass filled with bright blue liquid.

“Compliments from the human over there,” the barman (a six-legged, lizard-like creature) hissed, gesturing to the right with one of his claws. Surprised, Clara turned her head, and froze immediately. Sitting at the end of the bar, smiling at her, was River Song.

Of course, River Song was dead. Or had been, last time Clara saw her – which, given everything that had happened since, seemed like a lifetime ago. Still, there was no mistaking that hair. That definitely was the Doctor's late wife, very much alive and well. And she'd bought Clara a drink. And now she was walking over to her.

“I saw you ordered the Mercurian whiskey, and I figured you could use a drink that didn't taste like bleach,” River said, leaning in so she could be heard over the loud, thumping music.

“I – yeah thanks, River,” Clara said, still a bit taken aback. “It's... lovely to see you again.”

River frowned. “'Again'? I'm sorry, have we met?”

 _Ah._ Well, she probably should have expected this. The Doctor did mention that they kept meeting in the wrong order, and unless she'd actually been raised from the dead, chances were high this River hadn't met her yet.

(She did ask him, once, if it were possible to bring River back. After all, her conciousness still resided in the Library. He'd looked at her for a very long time, with those big, sad eyes, and then just said 'no', quietly, but resolutely. She had not asked about River again.)

Still, she'd always had the sneaking suspicion that she _would_ meet River again. The way she'd looked at her in Vastra's dream conference call... she could've sworn there was recognition in that look. She'd kinda _hoped_ that wasn't River's first meeting with her, to be honest. Not only because River seemed like a fascinating person and she'd love to meet her again, but also because she'd made a pretty bad first impression otherwise. _'I always assumed you were a man_ ', really? Her and her big mouth. This is why she so rarely had second dates. Now she had a another chance, at least. Although how the hell she would she be able to act normally around her? She'd met her when she was _dead_. It was going to be difficult to not constantly think about that.

Although, she looked very, _very_ alive. Gone was that strange golden garment that she'd worn as a data ghost, which had obscured her figure and made her seem rather ethereal. Her figure was on full display now, barely contained in a short, black dress that hugged her curves in a way that made Clara feel dirty for even glancing at it. And while Clara was no stranger to high heels herself, River's were positively sinful, in a deep, dark red that matched her lipstick. All in all, she looked like the kind of woman who could kill a man with just her looks. Or possibly her heels. Less ethereal data ghost, more seductive demon goddess. Or something. It was a bit overwhelming, really.

“Oh, yes, sorry,” Clara said hastily, realising she'd just been staring at River without answering her, “yes, we've met. Well, I've met _you_ , but you haven't met me yet. I'm Clara. Clara Oswald.” She stuck her hand out, immediately feeling awkward for doing so, but River just smiled and shook it.

“Well, it's not the first time that's happened. I suppose I should be used to it by now. It's very lovely meeting you, Clara Oswald. And do try the drink, it's very nice. In fact, I think I'll have another one myself.” She turned to the barman to order, and Clara took a tentative sip. It really was amazing. It reminded her of apple cider, but much richer and sweeter. River saw her amazed expression, and smiled again.

“Good, eh?”

“Yeah!” Clara said enthusiastically. “Thanks, I really had no idea what to order here. I was warned that most of it would kill me.”

“I'm guessing you're not from around here, then?”

“No,” Clara said, shaking her head, “not even remotely. I'm from Earth.”

“Ah, very far from home then.” River's eyes narrowed slightly. “ _Really_ far. Earth hasn't got the technology to get here yet, so you shouldn't even be here. So, you're either a Time Agent, a stowaway, or...” River leaned in, giving Clara a good view of – well, she shouldn't look. “Or, you're with the Doctor. Which is it?”

Well. She was quick. “The Doctor,” Clara admitted, a little apprehensive. This was his _wife_. Hopefully she wasn't the jealous type. Not that there was anything to be jealous _of,_ but you never knew. Didn't seem like there was any sense in lying to her, though.

“I thought so,” River said smugly. “I can always pick them out, my husband's friends. So which one are you traveling with? Bow tie, unhealthy obsession with hats?”

Clara was about to say 'no', but she stopped herself. She knew _her_ Doctor hadn't seen River in... well, not since that whole business with the Great Intelligence, when River was dead. And since then there had been Trenzalore, and everything else that had happened after that, meaning it had been well over a thousand years for the Doctor... Would he actually ever meet her again? Was she even allowed to tell River about him? He'd mentioned spoilers once, and how he always had to avoid them around her. If they hadn't met yet, could she say anything or would that upset the web of time or whatever?

Ugh. She hated this. Time travel made everything so complicated. And meeting your best friend's sort-of-ex, sort-of-dead wife was complicated enough. The fact that River was kind of intimidating and very, very attractive and Clara was kind of tipsy didn't help.

“I thought that was a fairly simple question, but perhaps not?” River said, interrupting Clara's internal debate.

“Sorry, I just...” Clara said, waving her drink around vaguely.

“Not sure if you're allowed to say anything?” River smirked. “Just say 'spoilers' then, it makes everything easier.”

Clara laughed. “Alright, spoilers. Not sure if it really does make it easier, though.”

“No,” River said, “it never does.” A sad look passed over her face, briefly, but then it disappeared again. She perked up, slid off her chair, and took Clara's hand, pulling her with her towards the dancefloor. “We should dance.”

“Sorry?” Clara said, slightly bewildered.

“Dance, darling. That's what this whole place is for.”

“I thought it was for getting drunk and snogging hot aliens,” Clara said before she could stop herself. River laughed, a mischieveous sparkle in her eyes.

“If you're lucky.”

 

Clara was probably more drunk than she thought she was.

She was definitely tipsy, but tipsy didn't quite account for the way she was dancing far too close to River, or the way her hands kept wandering along River's hips, or the way she kept getting lost in those green eyes. There was a pleasant heat spreading through her body, and all the nervousness she had felt upon meeting River had washed away, replaced by a feeling she was very much trying to ignore. It was getting increasingly harder to do so, though. The droning beat of the music, the crowd enveloping them, the heat, River's – well, _everything_... it all combined into a heady mixture of sensations that made Clara lose all sense of time (and indeed, space). They might have been dancing for five minutes, or five hours, she wasn't sure, but she gladly would've danced with her forever. _Especially_ when River turned her around, sliding her strong arms around her waist, drawing their bodies close together and – well, there was definitely _grinding_ now. She wondered briefly if River ever did this with the Doctor. Not the _current_ Doctor, obviously, she couldn't see him ever doing it – but Chin Boy? Well, possibly. Though she'd seen him dance a few times, and it wasn't particularly sexy. Or coordinated. He'd probably fall over, or smack someone in the head.

The thought made her giggle (yep, definitely drunk), but her giggle quickly turned into a gasp when River's right hand started trailing along the inside of her leg, and she felt her hot breath in her neck.

“You wanna grab some fresh air?”

Clara nodded, having spontaneously forgotten how words worked. River took her hand, leading her off the dancefloor, to a door near the back of the room. She made to push it open, but seemed to change her mind.

“Wait here for a second,” River said, disappearing back into the mass of sweaty bodies,

Clara wasn't an idiot. She knew where this was leading. 'Let's grab some fresh air' was pretty much Seedy Outerspace Bar Code for 'let's bang in the alleyway behind a dumpster'. Or something. And she was just letting it happen.

“Shit, shit, _shit_ ,” Clara muttered under her breath, earning her a few curious looks from nearby aliens. (She didn't know this, being a tourist, but there was in fact an alien species named shit, although you spelled it 'Sjií'th, because space.)

Look, it wasn't like she didn't _want_ to bang River Song – she did, she really absolutely did. She'd wanted to ever since she saw her sitting at the bar wearing that damn low-cut dress, though she'd tried very hard to deny it to herself. She was really, stupidly, unreasonably attracted to the woman, and who could blame her, really? Who could really blame her for wanting to have some fun sexy times with the most outrageously gorgeous woman with magic space hair and a smirk that had probably toppled empires, _especially_ when said woman was actively expressing interest in fun sexy times?

But River was the Doctor's _wife_.

And she was the Doctor's best friend.

And you weren't supposed to have sex with your best friend's wife, no matter how unreasonably hot she was.

Boy, she was in trouble.

River reappeared out of nowhere, carrying a bottle of the same drink she'd given Clara earlier. Clara raised an eyebrow.

“Barman owed me a favour,” River said. “And I figured you wouldn't want to go _thirsty_.” She said the last word in a low, purring voice that was too seedy even for this bar.

“Actually,” Clara said, whose panic was returning in full force, causing her teacher instincts to kick in, “alcohol isn't really great for thirst, it just makes you _more_ thirsty, because –”

“Oh, you sound just like him now,” River said, rolling her eyes. “C'mon darling, the stars are calling.” And with that, she pushed the door open. They stepped outside into the alley, the thumping music fading as the door swung shut behind them. Clara let out a sigh of relief as the cool air washed over her. She hadn't realised how hot it had really been inside. She must've been sweating like crazy, and there was no doubt she looked like a mess. She kinda wished they'd stopped at the bathroom so she could've fixed herself up a bit first, before – no, before _nothing_. Nothing was going to happen. Nothing _should_ happen. Her appearance didn't matter because she was just gonna call it a day here and go back to the TARDIS and not think about banging the Doctor's wife, who, now that Clara looked at her properly, somehow looked even more attractive after spending so long in that hellhole of a bar. She was looking up at the dark sky, her skin glowing in the neon lights, looking like some sort of sci-fi angel – oh god, she was starting to wax poetic now. This was bad.

“I hope you're up for a bit of a walk,” River said, interrupting Clara's internal cursing.

“I'm sorry?” Clara said, confused.

“What, did you think we were going to snog behind the dumpster?” _Well no,_ Clara thought, _I thought we were going to have sex behind the dumpster_. “Please, I take my dates to much nicer places. Besides, there's a body in there.” She took Clara's hand again, leading her past the dumpster and out onto the street.

“This isn't... we're not on a date,” Clara said weakly, before her brain processed the rest and she added, bewildered, “I'm sorry, _a body_?!”

“Like I said, the barman owed me a favour. And of course this is a date! There was drinking, dancing... I suppose we haven't done the eating out part yet, but I'm sure we'll get to that soon.” Clara shot her a look, and River laughed. “Alright, that was bad, I'll admit it.”

“Where are we actually going, though?” Clara asked, as River continued to lead her down the streets. River smiled.

“The stars.”

 


	2. hot heat, you make me high

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She should be strong, and resist. She hadn't even mentioned the Doctor, come to think about it, and she really should have. Just something like 'hey, I know you're married to the Doctor and I really don't think you should be cheating on him, even if I do think you're super hot'. That should have been one of the first things she'd said, really. That would be the sensible thing to do.  
> But she didn't really want to be sensible right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so turns out I'm really bad at keeping this short, so just have this chapter AND THEN I SWEAR THE NEXT ONE WILL BE ALL MAKING OUT/SMUT.  
> Chapter title from One Bad Night by Hayley Kiyoko, who I think wrote this song specifically for this fic?? Honestly it's perfect.

They ambled down the streets of the city, past shuttered shops and cafés and gaggles of people enjoying the nightlife. Clara was grateful for the walk, even if her feet were a little sore. It meant she could at least sober up a little, and maybe then she wouldn't jump straight into bed with her best friend's _damn wife_. Said damn wife had taken her hand, leading her along, all the while talking about the rather fascinating history of the city, and its eventual future demise (obliterated by a meteorite, apparently). As it turned out, River had once done an archaeological dig here.

“And what,” Clara said, “you thought it'd be nice to come back and hit up the club that you dug up?”

River laughed. “Pretty much.”

“Seems a bit morbid.”

“Darling, it wouldn't be much fun if I avoided every place that was destroyed at some point. Eventually, everything turns to dust. And I'll be there to dig up that dust and maybe write a paper on it.”

“And then you'll come back and have a drink with the locals.”

“I see no better way to honour their existence. I could stare wistfully at a broken vase in a museum, but what good would that do the person who made that vase? Better I pop by and brighten up their life.”

“Yes, I'm sure you brightened up the life of that person you murdered.”

River raised an eyebrow at her. “Who says I murdered anyone?”

“You said there was a body in the dumpster.”

“Didn't say it was a dead body.”

“Alright,” Clara said, rolling her eyes, “so you didn't kill them, but I assume they're not too happy about being in a dumpster. I mean, what kind of deal did you even have with that barman? Do you just... go around beating people up? Is that what space archaeologists do?”

“No, it's more a thing criminals do.”

Clara stopped in her tracks, causing River to stop as well. “ _Are_ you a criminal?”

“Well, I am in prison, yes.”

“Oh, good. You know, I'm starting to wonder why I'm even going with you.”

“Because you're attracted to me.”

Clara huffed, taking her hand out of River's and crossing her arms. “That's not – I'm not...”

“Yes, you are. It's pretty obvious. Which is good, because I happen to also be attracted to you, which is why I'm now taking you to a nice place where we can share a drink and enjoy each other's company in private. Of course, if you've decided you'd rather not come with me, you're free to go.”

Clara was silent for a moment. She could still back out. She could just call the Doctor and get back to the TARDIS and pretend it didn't happen. River would stay dead, and she wouldn't have to think about her hair or her hips or that damn smirk, except perhaps on those lonely nights when she needed someone to fantasize about. She should be strong, and resist. She hadn't even mentioned the Doctor, come to think about it, and she really should have. Just something like 'hey, I know you're married to the Doctor and I really don't think you should be cheating on him, even if I do think you're super hot'. That should have been one of the first things she'd said, really. That would be the sensible thing to do.

But she didn't really want to be sensible right now. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, or if she was just kind of a shitty person, but right now, all she wanted was to be seduced by River. All night, that had been all she wanted. She wanted River to press her full lips to hers, she wanted to tangle her hands in her magic space hair, she wanted those devilish curves pressed against her own, she wanted to know what River tasted like. She wanted to do something a little bit bad, and River was a whole lot of bad.

She sighed. “So is this 'nice place' far? Because my feet are getting really sore.”

“Not much further. We need to go in here, actually,” River said, gesturing to an alleyway on their right. They went through the alleyway, into a winding network of narrow streets flanked by tall houses. Eventually, they stopped at a door, and River produced a set of keys from god knows where.

“You've got a house here?” Clara asked, as River unlocked the door and gestured for her to go inside.

“Not exactly.” River flicked on a switch, illuminating the small hallway they were standing in. Hanging on the walls were a few frames with pictures of an alien couple. Definitely not River's then. Clara turned around, raising an eyebrow at River.

“I hope you're _renting_ this.”

“They're on vacation, they won't even notice we've been here.”

“I think that's what they call 'breaking and entering'.”

River smiled, walking past Clara to a narrow set of stairs at the end of the hallway. “We need to go all the way up,” she said. “And what did I break? I have the keys.”

“Right,” Clara said, following the other woman, “and how exactly did you get those keys?”

“Archaeology.”

Clara rolled her eyes. Then again, she was hardly one to judge. How many times had she and the Doctor broken into places? Hell, they'd _robbed a bank_. Was borrowing someone's house for a night really that bad? And besides, she had for more pressing matters to worry about, like the fact that she was _still on a date with her best friend's wife._ Also, the fact that she was getting a bit out of breath climbing these stairs. They must've gone up at least three floors.

“This is a very _tall_ house,” Clara said, panting.

“Tall, but narrow. Each floor only has one room.”

“Seems impractical.”

“Oh, it is. Especially when a meteor hits the city. These stairs are a real firehazard. We're here now, though.”

They had arrived at the topmost floor. On her right, Clara saw a door that led to a very cozy bedroom, but before she had time to worry about that, River led her through a glass door, onto a roof terrace. Clara actually let out a little gasp. Not only did they have a beautiful view of the city, as the house stood on the side of a hill, but above, in the sky, were more stars than she had ever seen.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” River said softly.

“It's amazing. How come we can see so many stars, though? What about the light pollution from the city?”

“We're in a richer part of the city now, and well... the rich people wanted to see the stars. There's an invisible filter stretching over this neighbourhood. Filters out the light from the city, but lets the light from the stars in. Very fancy.”

“You sure know how to impress a girl.”

River winked at her. “Don't I know it. Now, let's empty this bottle, shall we?”

She moved over to a little seating area, which conveniently already had two glasses on the coffee table. Clara raised an eyebrow at that.

“Did you _plan_ this whole date?”

“I planned _a_ date. You got very lucky, normally I don't bother with this kind of stuff.” She sat down on a couch, and patted the space next to her. “Come on then. I do believe you said something about getting drunk and snogging hot aliens.”

“You're not an alien, though,” Clara said, sitting down next to River, who promptly pushed a drink in her hand. “Wait, or _are_ you?”

“Not really. A little bit. Human-plus. It's complicated. Now,” River said, “we've talked about me, but I'd rather like to know a bit more about you.”

Clara took a sip – well, more like a large gulp – of her drink. This was it. Well, not _it_ it, probably. Not the whole snogging and/or shagging thing that she'd been looking forward to and/or dreading. But this was a good opportunity to make up for that awful first meeting. Now was the time to be smooth and cool and not say anything that made her sound like an idiot. All she had to do is tell River a few things about herself, maybe sneak in some flirtations, mention how good she was at defeating aliens, that kind of thing. And she should absolutely not say anything hurtful, like during that disastrous first date with Danny. She opened her mouth, and the alcohol betrayed her.

“My last boyfriend turned into a Cyberman.”

_Oh god._

“Ah,” River said, after a pause. “Well. I dated an android once, it wasn't bad at all. Though I suppose, no emotions...”

“He died.”

_Stop._

“Oh.”

_Change the subject change the subject._

“I mean, he died before turning into a Cyberman. And then I tried to bring him back, but then he got turned into a Cyberman. And then he died again. But he did save the Earth doing it.”

_Ohhhhh god._

“Well, that's –”

“And I loved him, you know? So much, and I still miss him every day, but I've also moved on, I guess, which is good, probably, but I feel bad about it, and then I kissed Jane Austen the other day, and I really like her, and I think she likes me back, and obviously she's _Jane Austen_ so I'm freaking out about that, but I also feel guilty, like I'm betraying Danny – my dead boyfriend – but I think he'd want me to move on, right? And now I'm here with you and you're very attractive and I don't even _like_ clubs but I just needed to get out of it, you know, I just needed some distraction, and you're _very_ distracting – god, I just –”

Clara paused for breath, then downed the rest of her drink, poured herself another one, then immediately started chugging that one as well. River looked on, a bit concerned.

“I think that might be enough alcohol for you –” she began, but Clara had already finished her glass, and the words came spilling out again.

“– and I'd really only planned to get drunk and make out with some random hot person, but you're not some random hot person, you're a hot person I sort of know and I want to – I think maybe I'm just a bad person because I really want to kiss you because you're _so damn attractive_ but god, _you're the Doctor's wife and I don't think you should be cheating on him with me_!”

Well. That was out there at least. Clara dared not to look at River, opting instead to stare at her glass. It was all the alcohol's fault, anyway. Why'd she ever even started drinking? Being drunk meant no control, and she was bad enough at dating as it was. River was probably furious. She should just go back, go home, try to forget it all happened – but then River suddenly let out a big laugh.

“ _That's_ what you're worried about?”

Clara looked up from her glass to find River staring at her, looking both incredulous and amused.

“Well, I... I don't want to be judgemental, I just don't think... It wouldn't be right.”

“Oh, honey,” River said, patting her affectionately on the arm, “you have misunderstood my relationship with the Doctor tremendously.”

“But you said... you're married, you called him your husband...”

“Yes, we're married, absolutely, but that doesn't mean we can't date other people! Do you really think I'd be the sort of person to have sex with someone else if I knew my husband wouldn't approve of it?”

Clara felt a blush creep up her cheeks. “I just – I thought – marriages are usually monogamous...”

“Well, I suppose they are for some people. Not for us, though, we have a very open marriage. God, meeting out of order is hard enough, it'd be hell if I'd have to stay faithful to a husband who might not even be married to me yet as well!”

Clara buried her head in her hands. “God, I'm so sorry, River. I didn't know.”

“See, I was under the impression that you _did_ know, considering you were going along with the whole date thing.”

“Yes, well,” Clara said, sighing and pouring herself another drink, “guess that just proves that I _am_ a bad person.” She made to take a sip, but River stopped her before she could, gently taking her wrist, making her put the glass down again.

“Clara, just relax. Look at the stars.”

She did. She looked at the stars, and the glittering city, and felt the tension in her body lessen a bit. River really had picked a beautiful spot. It was a nice night, too, warm but not cloying, with a slight breeze. She'd worked herself up for nothing. If she'd just asked right away – but at least she knew now. It still felt a bit weird. After all, she knew River would die eventually (but then, everybody dies), and her Doctor might never see her again (but then, maybe that was better?), and here she was, on a date with her. Time travel, she decided, was just messy. Exhilarating, incredible, beautiful – but messy.

She glanced to her left, at River, and found her not looking at the stars, but looking at Clara. Looking at her like she was just as beautiful as the stars.

“I don't know you that well,” River started, “but I know that if the Doctor has chosen you to travel with him, you can't be a bad person. He only takes good people. Not perfect people, mind, but you need a good heart to do the things he does. You might just be a bit too susceptible to my charms. Who could blame you, really.”

“You really are unfairly attractive,” Clara said.

“As, my dear, are you.”

And with that, River leaned in and kissed her.

 


	3. talk with your fingertips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She broke the kiss off, cradling River's face in both her hands, gazing at her intently.  
> “I want you,” she said, slightly out of breath, “to fuck my brains out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look who finally fuckin finished this after like..... a billion years.  
> Sorry about that, had some personal bullshit to deal with and then I honestly just forgot about this whole fic bc I'm an idiot. BUT HERE IT IS NOW.
> 
> Chapter title is still from One Bad Night by Hayley Kiyoko, bless her sapphic soul.

Kissing River was – well, it was a whole new level of kissing. Not that any of the people she'd kissed before had been bad, mind. Danny had been gentle and sweet: always respecting her boundaries, letting her take the lead and set the pace. Jane was _incredible_ , much to Clara's surprise: a bit more aggressive than Danny, and more teasing, pulling away at times and making her beg for more. And before them there had been others, of course, but all of them paled in comparison to River. She started off very chaste, just gently pressing her lips to Clara's, nipping softly, until Clara realised that maybe she should actually kiss River _back_ as well. She hesitated, but then slipped a hand into River's hair, and deepened the kiss. It was as if River had been waiting for this, because she smiled against Clara's mouth, and the kiss suddenly became a lot more heated. She was fairly sure River's red lipstick was getting all over her face, and the idea of River marking her like that was kind of exciting. She thought of River leaving marks all over: that red mouth leaving hickeys in her neck, those strong hands leaving bruises on her thighs – she thought about going back to the TARDIS, having to explain those marks, having to lie because _spoilers_ , having to keep a dirty little secret like that. She couldn't help but feel a little bit excited about the prospect.

Yeah. She was definitely kind of a bad person.

There wasn't much time to worry about her own moral compass, though, because River had moved down to her neck, licking and sucking in a way that would _definitely_ leave hickeys. She wondered if River had also been thinking about how Clara would have to explain those.

“Do you, uh – do you tell the Doctor who you've been sleeping with?” Clara asked, between gasps. River looked up (and Clara instantly regretted making her stop her delicious tour of her neck), and smirked.

“Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. He doesn't really like hearing the details, so I usually keep it vague.” She started trailing a finger along Clara's leg, causing her to shiver. “Do you?”

Clara laughed. “Oh, absolutely not. He was terrible with my boyfriend, and he got a bit cross with me when he found out I'd been snogging Jane Austen, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut from now on.”

“He disapproved of Jane Austen, really?”

“He said I shouldn't go around 'canoodling' with historical figures.”

River chuckled. “He's one to talk. Ask him about Cleopatra.”

“Oh, I know. Well, not Cleopatra, but I was there when he married Elizabeth I. He's such a hypocrite.”

“I know.” River was silent for a moment, her hand still wandering along Clara's leg. A curious look had appeared on her face. “Do you love him?” she suddenly asked.

Clara froze. “Oh. Oh god, no. I mean, I guess, but not – not like _that_ , not like I _love_ love him, not – like I sort of fancied him, before he – early on, but it's not – he's a friend. He's my best friend. It's like friendship, but – different. Deeper.” She took a deep breath. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't even have asked. About him.”

A pause, during which River simply looked at Clara with mild bemusement. Clara, meanwhile, was mentally scolding herself.

River broke the silence first. “You're a lot like him, you know?”

“Thanks?” Clara said, unsure if that was a compliment or not.

“You didn't need to explain yourself. Open marriage, remember? I'd be completely fine with it.”

“Right. I just wanted to – just wanted to make it clear.”

“That's okay.”

“I just mouth off when I'm nervous. It's really terrible, actually. I rarely have second dates because of it.”

“Clara...”

“I'm doing it again, I know! Sorry. D'you wanna get back to the kissing?”

“I'd like that,” River said, smiling. She leaned in, and Clara practically melted into her, all too eager to move on from that awkward moment. She was gonna keep her mouth shut from now on – well, not actually shut, obviously, but she certainly wasn't gonna bring up the Doctor again – and do the thing she'd been wanting to do the entire night. A heat was building in her core, pleasant but aching, and when River's hand slid up towards the inside of her thighs, the heat flared up. All thoughts of the Doctor and Danny and Jane and her own missteps disappeared, replaced by a burning desire. She moaned softly, and then, because she just couldn't take it any longer, she climbed right on River's lap, straddling her. She broke the kiss off, cradling River's face in both her hands, gazing at her intently.

“I want you,” she said, slightly out of breath, “to fuck my brains out.”

“That can certainly be arranged,” River said, in a voice so husky that Clara had to take a moment to compose herself. “Did you want to move to the bed, then?”

“No,” Clara said, because apparently her sexual frustration was starting to go to her brain, “no, I want to look at the stars while you fuck me.”

“Well,” River said, sounding a little bit impressed, “I suppose it _would_ be a bit of a shame to let them go to waste, after I went through all that trouble to get you here. Good thing this couch folds out.” She reached over to the side of the couch, pressing a button, and the couch folded out into a bed with a soft _fwoop_.

“Huh. Convenient.”

“Rather,” River said. “I suppose the owners had the same thought as you. Now, I think the next step would be getting you out of those clothes.”

Clara more than happily obliged, undoing her zipper, and sitting up a bit so River could hike her dress up, and lift it over her head. Then she quickly undid her bra, tossing it aside.

“Oh, very nice,” River purred, bringing up one hand to cup a breast. Clara shivered under her touch, that heat flaring up again, only building more and more as River's hand trailed over her ribs, the soft swell of her stomach, ending at the waistband of her underwear. She didn't go any further though.

“Well, go on!” Clara said, unable to keep the frustration out of her voice. River laughed.

“All in good time, dear.”

Clara pouted at her, grinding down on River in retaliation. She couldn't help but smile a little smugly when River let out a groan, the hand that wasn't at her waistband gripping her hip tightly.

“You know,” River said, stroking Clara's skin, “I love my husband, but he's all _bones_. It's nice to have something soft to hold on to every once in a while.”

Clara raised an eyebrow. “Soft?”

“That's not a comment on your weight, darling. Well, I suppose it is, but not a negative one, believe me.” River smirked, and Clara was about to say something in retort, but then River slid her hand further down, pushing the fabric of her underwear aside so she could slide a finger along her folds, and Clara could only gasp.

“Oh, you're very ready for me, aren't you?”

“I've been ready all night.”

“You poor thing. And all this time you thought you weren't allowed to shag me.”

“Could you just – do less talking and more –” But before she could finish her sentence, River lifted her off her lap, and laid Clara on her back. Well, she had wanted to look at the stars.

“I suppose there are better uses for my mouth than talking,” River said, as she slid Clara's underwear off. Clara shivered a bit, partly because of the slight breeze on her skin, partly because of River's fingers stroking the inside of her thighs. She wanted to say something, about the stars, about River, about how weirdly magical this all was, but then River's mouth was between her legs and she couldn't say anything at all.

River was as good at going down on someone as she was at kissing. Her tongue licking her expertly, her fingers pumping in and out of her, her free hand gripping her leg tightly – all the different sensations melting together, causing her head to spin, causing the stars above her to spin. She was going to come soon, she knew, and she didn't care, because she'd been waiting all night for this release and dammit, she deserved it. She grabbed a fistful of River's hair, pushing her down harder. In retaliation, River gripped her leg even tighter, her fingernails digging into her skin just a little bit too hard, just the right amount, just enough for Clara to send her over the edge. She closed her eyes against the blazing light of the stars, River's name like a mantra on her lips.

When her body had calmed down a bit again, she opened her eyes to find River hovering over her.

“You alright?”

Clara smiled. “I'm amazing. _You're_ amazing.” She hitched herself up on her elbows so she could kiss River gently on the lips.

“Well, I've had a lot of practice,” River said.

“I don't doubt that.” Clara sat up properly. “You're still wearing a lot of clothes. That seems unfair.”

River laughed as Clara started fumbling with the zipper of her dress. “Oh dear, have I been depriving you of my body?”

“Yep. And with a body like yours, that's practically a crime.” She finally managed to undo the zipper.

“Well, I _am_ a criminal.”

“Fair enough,” Clara said, as she lifted River's dress over her head. “Oh wow, you've got _abs._ ”

She placed a hand on River's stomach, feeling the muscles underneath tense at her touch. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Not that she was unhappy with her own body, but, well – she was a woman, she was basically socially conditioned to compare herself to other women and feel bad about herself. She managed to put that aside though, and simply marveled at River's incredible figure. Only now did she realise that River had not actually been wearing _any_ underwear under her dress, so distracted had she been by her abs. Honestly, she was glad she hadn't known about the no-underwear-situation before this. She probably wouldn't have been able to restrain herself otherwise. And then they wouldn't have made it to this magical place, they probably would've just shagged in the club's bathroom or something. And then River probably wouldn't have taken her dress completely off, and she would never have known about those killer abs.

“What can I say. I work out,” River said, not even trying to sound modest. “I have to be in peak physical condition to keep my idiot husband alive. Plus, you know, tomb raiding.”

“You're a veritable Lara Croft.”

“ _Assets_ included,” River said, with a wink. Well, the Lara Croft comparison was certainly deserved.

“Could do without the bad jokes, though,” Clara said.

River raised an eyebrow. “What, do my bad jokes not get you hot?”

“I'm not the Doctor; I've got higher standards.”

“Oh, I'm sure you do, honey.” River leaned in, kissing her deeply, pushing her back onto the bed. Their bodies pressed together, legs entangling, hands eagerly stroking every bit of skin they could reach. Clara slipped a hand between River's legs, hearing River gasp against her mouth. The gasps quickly turned into moans as Clara worked her fingers in and out of that warm wetness, her thumb on her clit, and River's moans turned into shouts and Clara swallowed them, kissing her hard and desperate, her free hand once again tangling in those glorious curls. She opened her eyes, to see the look on River's face, to see the stars, and suddenly she was so overcome with love, not for River specifically but for _this_ , this moment, this feeling. Danny had died and it had felt like she would never feel whole again, but she could have this, she could have River, she could have Jane, she could have the entire universe. She could do anything.

River came with a harsh cry, nails digging into Clara's back. They lay there for a second, breathing heavily, and then River opened her eyes.

“Are you _crying_?” River asked, astonished.

Clara suddenly became aware of a wet feeling on her cheek.

“Oh” she said, wiping away her tears, “I guess I am. I didn't even notice it. I feel good, though,” she added quickly. “They're happy tears.”

“Well, that's a first for me. I usually need to break out the toys to make them cry.”

Clara laughed. Then, suddenly, she was overcome with drowsiness. She wrapped her arms around River, snuggling up against her.

“That was good,” she said. “'M tired now.”

“We can't – we can't stay here,” River said. “The owners come back in the morning.”

“Fuck 'em,” Clara mumbled against River's neck, already dozing off. For a second she thought River was going to protest, but then she sighed.

“Yeah, fuck 'em.”

This, Clara thought before she drifted off completely, was bliss. Being with an extremely hot space archaeologist with killer abs and magic hair, underneath the stars of an entirely different galaxy, the muted sounds of the city around them, a soft breeze caressing their naked skin: this, surely, was what heaven was like. And she knew it was partly the alcohol, and River's intoxicating presence, and the fact that she'd just had sex. She knew she'd have to go back to the TARDIS in the morning, and explain where she'd been. She knew she'd have to lie, she knew she couldn't tell him the truth and she knew she'd feel bad about it, knew she might even regret sleeping with River in the first place. She didn't even know if she'd see River again, if she should. She knew she had all these things to worry about in the morning.

For now, though, with River's warm body next to her, her soft breathing, her curls tickling her face... for now she was simply happy.


End file.
